The Heartfelt eSKay Privacy Policy

Soundtrack: ???
Haley:
(whispering) Just play something, Soundtrack! It doesn’t matter. Almost nobody reads or listens to data protection or privacy policy statements, anyway…
Soundtrack: (unenthusiastically playing something) Then why do it?
Haley: (almost hissing) Because we “have to.” Just play along. Hermes? You’re up!

Hermes: (clears throat) Um, OK, Haley. Here goes. (whispers) But what a daft idea….(announcer voice)
Coming to you almost live from somewhere in Greece, welcome to this edition of the Stoned Kitchen Blogcast! In this episode, Haley speaks from the heart about about the required website element called “The Privacy Policy.”
Please note: Stoned Kitchen’s official, legally required Privacy Policy is found elsewhere. (whispering) You have finished, it right?
Haley: (whispering back) Um. Sort of…

First though, a progress report: It’s 18 June 2020, and stonedkitchen.org is finally, finally “almost ready” to come off the stove, get out of the oven, and be presented online to our virtual guests.  The dishes for our premiere menu have all been bubbling and simmering for quite a long time – and I’d say, yes, most of them are “ready for tasting”-and hopefully, not too “overdone.”
One standard dish- “the Privacy Policy” is still, well “rising.” And I will admit: eSKay’s first “Reaching out to yoU U U” Blogcast post is proving to be a tricky new recipe. But then again, so is the VIP it reaches out to! (sighs/inhales, gets “gossipy.) Just every time I think I’ve got a handle on this particular main dish post and it is ready to go, 45 manages to once again “top himself.”

To keep up with him, I have then had to go back to my desk and start my first message to him all over again. That means another furious bout of researching, rewriting, recording, editing, and photo shooting..,
However, doing things like dressing up in a Wonder Woman outfit for the present president’s benefit, and then go prancing around the Globus while Dan makes suggestions for poses and snaps away is really not too much of a sacrifice for a good cause.

It’s just by the time the process is done, the stable genius has already done or said something worthy of another Reaching Out to…” appeal. So, I’ve decided to stop chasing after his ups and downs for the time being – and take the plunge “as is.” Soon. Very soon. The pieces are all coming together!

Hermes: Attention “Spoiler Alert” Stoned Kitchen is pleased to announce that we have our very first “real” Soundtrack/Musician!
Haley: (pointedly to Hermes) Thanks, Hermes, but no more details on that right now! We have an obligation to protect the privacy of this friend of ours who has volunteered to play Soundtrack for the time being.

Hmm. Note to me: Make an appointment with Soundtrack for this weekend! Among other things, Soundtrack really needs to decide on their eSKay name! Plus, it would be fabulous icing on the cake for the stonedkitchen.org launch if the first “Reaching Out to…” blogcast is available on our opening menu as an audio file/download, too. But OK, we’ll see about that.
(Just if anybody else is planning to release a “tell-all” book about the present president, could you wait another week or so? Thanks!)

Miamou: Well, in the interest of my own personal privacy and protection, if the book is going to detail instances of you-know-who-grabbing-you know-whats, I want to know it now! Meow!
Haley: (aside) Ah Miamou, don’t worry. The present president would never do anything like that! I’m sure he was telling the truth that it was just locker room talk between the boys.
Miamou: (aside)Kitty LOLs her tail off.


Haley: Besides, at his age, I imagine his tomcatting days are pretty much over. Plus he is married, you know? Anyway, Stoned Kitchen will get back to the present president in due course.
We can launch without him.

However, what we can’t do is: Open up the doors to Stoned Kitchen’s world before we have an official Privacy Policy. It’s the final mandatory website ingredient – and one I keep putting off adding in.
One reason for that is: Personally, I think it should suffice when I just tell you “I am going to protect your privacy as best I can.” Even though Stoned Kitchen “the book” and this website are very personal works, my privacy is something I value greatly. I want to decide for myself what I reveal and who gets to see what, or touch where, etc.

Furthermore, Dan is even more sensitive about privacy issues than I am. However, you will have to take my word for that. If I tell you more here, well, I’d be violating Dan’s right to privacy.
I try very hard not to do that. So, for example, if you see a photo of Dan in this space, you will know he gave me his permission for it to be here. The same goes for pictures of anyone else.
In Miamou’s case, since I am her human guardian, I made a “universal” decision that it was OK to post pics of her.

Miamou: (sarcastic meow) Oh thanks for letting me know that human guardian! Your cat appropriate privacy policy needs some fine-tuning!

Haley: Oh! You are right, Miamou, and I am sorry, I should have asked. But at least give me credit for trying to use flattering photos of you, and when I can tell you are “not in the mood” for a photoshoot, I do leave you in peace. Mostly. But now I have to get back to this post about eSKay’s Privacy Policy for humans (and maybe those things called bots, and cookies, and algorithms, and all other “internety” things I am basically clueless about…)

Hm. I wonder if it is possible in WordPress to link to the official Privacy Policy every time the words Privacy Policy appear in this post. I read somewhere this morning when researching more about “how to create a privacy policy for your website” that it is a good idea to make it easily available and very visible-even though those same articles went on to explain that most people will never bother reading it.
Miamou: (aside) Folks, this is likely why Haley just doesn’t buckle down, fill in the blanks in some Privacy Policy template, and Get. It. Done. (whispering) Like so often, Haley thinks that some rules don’t quite apply to her…(cat yawns).
Haley: Miamou! You are invading my privacy! Shh. But you are right in a way, so: 
Here is my “from the heart” and off the cuff Stoned Kitchen Privacy Policy-in addition to the official one coming soon because it has to “just in case…”

Stoned Kitchen is committed to respecting and protecting everyone’s privacy!
Footnote: Plus Haley figured out how to insert links to our official privacy policy a couple of weeks post-launch!
  1. Stoned Kitchen is not going to sell, or share, or give away any of your personal data. We will protect your identity, data, privacy as best we can here in this space.
  2. You should know, however, that I might choose some guest comments, or excerpts from your emails to include in Stoned Kitchen “the book.” I would ask your permission first, though. If you object, then in the case of an email, that’s likely that. (Emails are private communications!) However, with comments, well we would have to see. Remember people: Any time you post something on a website or send your words, photos, videos out through things like social media, you have “gone public” and are “on the record.” Funny how many of us forget that from time to time (me included.)
  3. In the interest of full disclosure and transparency, you should know that of course, I will collect for myself general information concerning things like: How many guests stonedkitchen.org has (or will have); Which posts have the most/least views/shares/comments, etc., and the “cumulative results” of such upcoming Blogcast features like quizzes and surveys. Data like this gives me valuable feedback for reflection on whatever it is I am doing here, improving myself and this site, and gauging guests’ opinions.
  4. Further, it seems that these days, publishers expect authors to “have an internet and social media” presence. So yes, I might one day (if given the opportunity) share statistics about site visitors, etc. But I won’t be naming any names or dishing out email addresses, etc.
  5. At this point, stonedkitchen.org is not selling anything. I don’t consider promoting ideas and activities that can improve our world as “selling something.” How about you?
    I am also fairly sure that: “hoping a literary agent, publisher, film-maker, angel, etc., might stumble across this website and express interest in ‘my book’ isn’t an example of a “sale.” No money is changing hands via this site right now. You can’t “buy” Stoned Kitchen, or how a slightly illegal po(t)cast helped save Greece” online at the moment. Or anywhere else for that matter. But that could change, and if it does, this website will change, too-and I’ll inform you about it.
  6. Additionally, stonedkitchen.org is not accepting advertising. So you don’t have to worry about your data being used to “customize your experience here” or being bombarded with or distracted by ads for things you don’t want or need. Though sure, we might think about this more and change our minds later. In that case, I’ll let you know – and likely ask what you think about it!

7. That said, eSKay is filled with recommendations, tips, advice, opinions, and so on. Nobody is paying us to do that, though, and it’s up to you which of our suggestions you “consume,” try out, or take, or not. It’s also completely your choice about whether you share photos, your own stories, submit a guest post, etc.

8. When/if stonedkitchen.org can be involved with like-minded partners in our envisioned Joint Ventures, those partners have their own privacy policies that apply when you visit their sites or use their services. The same is true in case you share stonedkitchen.org content via social media.

Hermes: Please note We haven’t decided what to do yet if somebody sends us inappropriate content or well, breaks our Covenant of Use.

Haley: Thanks Hermes, I really don’t even want to imagine scenarios like that now. It brings me down. Anyway, I think stonedkitchen.org will just cross bridges like police inquiries or sending/sharing of so-called dick-pics if and when such situations arise.
But thanks a lot for bringing up the Stoned Kitchen Covenant of Use. I really think it already accomplishes everything a real Privacy Policy should. That’s because privacy violation won’t likely be a problem if we all agree to its core principles.
As a reminder, those are: Everybody who visits or contributes to the site agrees to be:

  • honest,
  • respectful,
  • willing to admit and “own” their mistakes-and apologize for them,
  • here voluntarily, and
  • willing to learn and grow.

I’m not an oracle, though, and have been wrong before, and well Stoned Kitchen isn’t in charge of the entire world or the world wide web…

Miamou: “yet” – she was dying to say (laugh-meowing out loud then aside)…And as for that “being in charge” part, give her an inch, and she’ll cage you up, move you half-way across Europe, and smuggle you into an Italian hotel room hidden in a pile of baggage! She covered me with a coat!

Haley: Note to me: Write a post about Miamou and Me “time traveling to Crete” from Germany back in February 2009. Oh. And add a sentence to the eSKay Covenant of Use about how the official Privacy Policy applies. And maybe a separate CYA clause somewhere about how Stoned Kitchen doesn’t….

Hermes: (inhales) Thank you for joining us for this impromptu episode of Stoned Kitchen. Talking about privacy is not one of our favorite topics, however, the Privacy Policy is just a fact of website life – and your privacy is one of our – and your basic human rights.
Miamou: (offended meows)
Hermes: Um Right. In fact, privacy is just a right that all living beings have, except maybe mosquitos, grasshoppers, viruses, presidents acting in their official capacities, and……anyway. Stoned Kitchen REALLY believes our privacy should be respected and protected. Yiammas!
Soundtrack: (whispering) I’m really glad this episode is done! (still adlibbing)
Miamou: (whispering) Me too! Viva!

Reflections on privacy. A private moment captured by Dan during our “Honeymoon 1” in September 2012

Get Higher: There are so many trips you can take with the issue of privacy that I can’t even decide which one to focus on in this episode’s “Get Higher” task. Is it “cheating” if I see which ones interest you, and just invite those who have read (or listened to someday) to continue this discussion in the comments below?

Besides, Pepper and I have a “high noon” zoom session (German time) coming up in 40 minutes. The plan is: Work out the last final details before we “click,” say “lights on!” and “action”: We are online!

Fingers crossed that my inner “oracle” is correct, and today-23 June 2020-is the day that the Stoned Kitchen Blogcast leaves my imagination and perhaps finds its way into your world…(and well, if that “plan” doesn’t work out today, then hopefully, avrio – tomorrow.)

Footnote: Just remembered a very important privacy detail – and took care of it!

Not so great screenshot of an email from Haley@stonedkitchen.org to “Soundtrack” to confirm their eSKay names and share the converted audio file. (Yes! We “did it” and the aforementioned very first recording for the Blogcast is “a wrap.” (You can find it in “Reaching out...”)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *